I Was There Too, and so Was God
My Cancer Journey
I was treated for two cancers from October 2019 to April 2021, including chemotherapy, surgeries, hormone therapy, and radiation treatment. I experienced emotions and thoughts that I never had prior. I was physically and mentally drained and spiritually challenged.
There were times when I had bouts of fear and despair as I contemplated my family’s future without me and my web hosting clients. I expended lots of mental energy trying to maintain a positive attitude. I recall one of the nursing assistants at Fox Chase Cancer Center telling me how important a positive mindset is for success. I never forgot that.
I was desperate for God’s help, even a miracle. I thought I had believed that God would heal me of cancer. However, there was a lot of doubt because I wasn’t cured of thyroid issues and had a thyroidectomy in 2018. I wondered why God did not heal my thyroid. I had to rely on people to do what I thought God would do.
However, there was one thought that bubbled to the surface whenever I would start feeling discouraged. God always came through for me whenever I was in trouble. He never let me down and always helped me. In the words of the late Pastor Willie Wilson, there was no reason for me to think that this was the end. God would help me in this situation too.
Repeatedly reading Psalm 91 was instrumental in helping me to maintain hope and a positive mindset. It tells of God’s help in trouble and how he will protect those who depend on Him. Was it true? Could I rely on God to help me now, I thought.
I had almost memorized Psalm 91 because I had read it so many times. However, I didn’t want to do anything, including reading the Bible, after about the third of four cycles of chemotherapy. I was in the hospital for a week and home for two weeks four times. The message of Psalm 91 remained in my head.
Desperate for Encouragement
I was desperate for someone to pat me on the back and tell me that everything would be alright. I wanted someone to lay hands on me and pray for healing in my body. Unfortunately, I got very little of that. I know that many people were praying for me, which helped me. However, I wanted someone to minister to me personally and help me remain confident and hopeful.
A few experienced ministers that I had the pleasure of talking to before and during my treatments. They helped me tremendously to maintain a healthy perspective about healing and trusting God to help. My mother also ministered to me several times during my treatments. Her words had much weight because she endured severe cancer treatments many years prior. Thank God for those people.
The Spiritual Component
From the beginning of my treatments, I believed there must be a spiritual aspect to my healing. I didn’t think that success was only in the hands of doctors and drugs. Somehow, God was with me and helping me. I didn’t know why I wasn’t divinely healed, and I expressed that to God in prayers many times.
However, God has always come through for me, so there was no reason to doubt him now. I talked to several people who had gone through cancer treatments successfully and praised God for it. I decided to go through with my treatments with the mindset that God is with me through it all. I resolved in my mind that it was okay to get medical treatments.
I kept getting better at each checkup visit with my doctor, even though there were some setbacks at the beginning. By 2022, my scans were clear, my bloodwork was great, and I felt terrific. I kept getting stronger.
However, I would get anxious shortly before each checkup visit and when I felt pain or discomfort in my midsection. My anxiety would turn to joy and confidence when the doctor told me that I was doing well. I want to have that same confidence before hearing the doctor’s report. I prayed to God many times about how tired I was of being afraid.
All those anxious episodes added up to nothing. It took a lot of energy to keep my mindset from running away because of anxiety.
Desire to Help
I knew God could and wanted to help the patients I saw at the hospital. Some seemed very sick, and some seemed very lonely. From the beginning of my treatments, I wanted the opportunity to minister to people. That desire for ministry compelled me to find a way to help other patients overcome the negative thoughts and mindset associated with cancer treatments. I empathized with the infusion patients at the hospital, especially those who seemed to be alone, which was exacerbated by COVID-19 restrictions.
I considered trying to be part of a patient’s support group at Fox Chase Cancer Center, which I may still pursue. However, Don Graves of www.dongraves.com suggested I build a website named iprayforcancerpatients.com after telling him about my cancer journey.
Therefore, this website is my attempt to minister to cancer patients. Never give up. Trust God to help you and be with you. Visualize your success, not your demise. I hope to help cancer patients go through their treatments with a positive mindset leading to their success and long life.